NURSE 3D (2013)

RATED- R
RUN TIME- 84 Mins
WRITER(S)- Douglas Aarniokoski and David Loughery
STARRING- Kathleen Turner, Katrina Bowden, and Judd Nelson
DIRECTOR- Douglas Aarniokoski



Synopsis taken from IMDb
Day by day Abby Russell is a dedicated nurse, someone you wouldn't hesitate to trust your life with. But by night, her real work begins...using her smoldering sexuality she lures cheating men to their brutal deaths and exposes them for who they really are. When a younger nurse starts to suspect Abby's actions and compromises her master plan, Abby must find a way to outsmart her long enough to bring the cheater you'd least expect to justice.




The opening minutes of this feature tells you all you need to know and sets the mood. It's provocative, and very feminist, a flick about a woman who kills men in savage ways to punish them for their infidelity. Now, I typically don't go for movies like this unless there's some revenge at the end on behalf of those who meet their demise. However, I was told by several friends who've seen this that it's worth the watch, so I sat it out. It was also brought to my attention that there's a sequel in the works, so I figure now would be as good a time as any to give this one a viewing.

I didn't actually watch this in 3D, but it goes over just fine in basic 2D. I can see the appeal of three dimensional films, but they're totally overrated. There's some pretty grueling kills that are both bloody and creative. An armory of hospital equipment is at the disposal of Abby (Paz de la Huerta), and she uses things like needles and saws to bring men to justice. Some of these murders would go over quite well in 3D, and you can tell a lot of them were designed to jump off the screen at you. But what I was really impressed with was the amount of blood used, especially at the end.

A quote Abby says towards the beginning of the film that got a laugh out of me is: "This job is more than sticking thermometers in butts and looking pretty". Such things make the viewer realize that this is supposed to be a fun experience, and not a very serious one. It's important to note such things because when you read most reviews about this movie, you'll read that it's not very well liked and you can see that those judging it tried to take it seriously, but I didn't. Being a film laced with dark humor doesn't make it a better film, it just goes over better when watching. Believe me, if I judged this movie as a whole and didn't take into account that it's humor is intentional, I'd hate it.

Niecy Nash is in this playing the role as nurse Regina. Most of you know Nash from her role on Comedy Central's "Reno 911". Nash is funny as usual, and adds a nice comedic touch to the film. And Judd Nelson plays the head doctor, Dr. Morris. He's a well-endowed man who sleeps with nurses as blackmail. Upon seeing him and finding this out, it was obvious to assume that he'd meet his end.

There's a lot of nudity. Gratuitous nudity, that is unnecessary. By all means, I'm a heterosexual man who's engaged to be married and loves women. But even I've gotta say that the nakedness throughout this film is a bit absurd. There's not as much sex as there is bare skin showed, but there's sex too. Abby has a thing for ladies, so we get to see some lesbian scenes that are openly a selling factor. It's almost like the filmmakers said 'well, if we're making a lame horror movie, the least we can do is give everyone a ton of nakedness and sex so they'll still have a reason to watch'.

Love making and nudity in movies are the same as gore to me, it's hardly ever needed, but it works when it's used appropriately. But, seeing as I watch "Boardwalk Empire", I knew that Paz de la Huerta isn't afraid of showing it all. I think I've seen her more naked than with clothes on. That's an exaggeration, but you get what I'm saying...

This movie isn't all boobs, blood and guts though. We actually get a little history lesson on Abby's past and learn that she's not who she says she is. In fact, she had a troublesome family and past, in which we get flashbacks towards the latter end of the picture. To prove her insanity, the viewer sees that despite how wrong her doings are, she really believes that she's doing the right thing. And she's as obsessive as she is nutty. This reminds me of "Single White Female" a lot because of the way she develops a fixation for younger nurse, Danni (Katrina Bowden) and ambushes everything good in her life while trying to play the best friend role.

Things change when Danni starts to catch on to Abby's wrongdoings and looks into her past, revealing the shocking truth. But Danni doesn't do this for no good reason, she does it after realizing what a weirdo Abby is, and how Abby has been sending her pictures anonymously online that are inappropriate, trying to break Danni and her boyfriend up. Once Danni goes to the cops, Abby easily manipulates the cops and Danni like she does everyone else and frames Danni for all the murder occurrences. Only problem is that Danni won't go down without a fight. There's a good amount of suspense, but it's not very scary. It's a fun movie, but it's definitely more thriller than anything.

The finale goes down in the hospital in which both Danni and Abby work, which I didn't expect. And it gets extremely messy with blood. Crimson flows everywhere. There's a scissor kill by Abby that is by far my favorite in the whole movie. It's painful to watch,even though it's quick. Some unexpected people die in the third act, and Abby cements herself as the woman you love to hate.

It all ties up in an upbeat way that leaves you with some dark humor and plenty of room for a sequel. And in this movie, there's undoubtedly the sexiest torture scene you'll ever see.

So, the question is how do I rate this one? Seeing as I know what kind of movie it is, I'm not going to judge it based on nonsense things, like the fact that it isn't a serious movie. However, even taking it as it is, it's still not a very good movie aside from it being fun. Yeah, there's some laughs and some gross kills and gore that will surely get a reaction out of you, but that's about all there is to it. It's only entertaining for the duration it's on, and then it's forgotten. So, for the simple fact that I could sit through this once and enjoy it, I'm not going to mash it to pieces.

2.5 stars out of 5

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2 holds nothing back

RATED- UNRATED
RUN TIME- 105 MINS
WRITER(S)- NEIL ELMAN AND THOMAS FENTON
STARRING- JEMMA DALLENDER, JOE ABSOLOM, AND YAVOR BAHAROV
DIRECTOR- STEVEN R. MONROE



Synopsis taken from IMDb
Katie is trying to make it in the cutthroat world of modeling. When she innocently accepts an offer to have new photos taken for her portfolio, the experience quickly turns into an unthinkable nightmare of rape, torture, and kidnapping. When a twist of fate finally frees her from her captors- beaten, battered, bruised, and broken, she will have to tap into the darkest places of the human psyche to not only survive her ordeal, but to ultimately find the strength to exact her brutal revenge.

  

Being a big fan of the 2010 remake, I was definitely excited about this sequel, especially since it's by the same director. However, I also remained a bit skeptical. There's concerns that rose to my mind, like little red lights flashing. Sadly, I must say that I was right in being apprehensive about this one. The alarm going off in my conscience, those flashing red lights ended up being dead on the money, and I'll tell you why.

I've said this before, and I'll repeat it again for the sake of this films topic. There is no such thing as a good rape scene. I understand that sometimes in order to make a revenge flick, or a drama even, rape needs to be depicted. However, there is tactful ways of doing it. The film that I praise for having a tactful rape scene is Alex Aja's 2006 "The Hills Have Eyes" remake. It didn't show you much but, you were fully aware of what was going on.

The 2010 remake of "I Spit On Your Grave" also surprised me in the sense that although it was extreme, it wasn't overdone. The amount of maltreatment was done quite well. There wasn't too much thrusting or humping shown. It was more implied that she was molested by the gang of guys due to her passing out. I think that's the greatest thing about the retelling of the 1978 motion picture. The brutality was shown on such a tense level, that it wasn't necessary to exploit every little thing. It was immensely intense as well. And, the payoff was as much deserved as it was worth the wait.

This sequel does the exact opposite of what I praise the remake for. Before I go further, let me go on record as saying that I did like this movie. I just found it to be less tasteful than the prior installment, and not as thrilling. Unfortunately, the thing that I think lessened this one compared to the other, is the revenge. And that's a big problem.

This film centers around Katie (Jemma Dallender) and the gang of foreign creeps she encounters, from Bulgaria. When she refuses to go nude for the photo shoot, she soon realizes that she got mixed up with the wrong people. Things go from bad to worse, and then a little more worse. And right when you think the film has gone a bit too far, it goes a bit further. This to me, is like a half-sister to the remake. It's got similar traits, and is definitely part of the same family but, it's not as complete and whole.

After being beaten and raped repeatedly by multiple men, and being deceived by someone Katie thought she could trust, as well as the police, the payback just isn't what it needed to be for such a violent and gritty piece of cinema. The rape and torture goes a bit too far, to the point where it's almost un-watchable. They show a lot more than they should, unlike the remake. It's really not a necessity to show all that is shown, it's a bit much, and crosses a few lines, especially for a lackluster conclusion. Katie is beaten horribly, raped multiple times by different men, shocked, and pissed on. Oh, and buried alive! 

The revenge scenes were nasty and twisted, and deserving. They're not anything but shock factor though. It seems so fabricated and commercial, it doesn't feel as real or dreadful like it should. The final death is really hard to watch for men, at least I found it painful to view. Brings a new image to mind when hearing the term balls in a vice.

And, there's one other big thing that I did not like, and that is that they made Katie too much of a female icon almost, for lack of a better word. Once she decides to go over to the dark side, and get vengeance  for herself, she gets this black leather jacket, and she wears it through the remainder of the movie. I don't like that she has a cool, dark image about her. She should have a dirty tank top with sweat stains and grease and soot on it. She just doesn't look the part, and the wardrobe throws me off. It just lost the genuine revenge feel that the other film had, and you can see that this one has the brain of the remake but, not the heart or soul.

There's a scene where she exacts revenge on a big bull of a man. She knocks him out, and drags him through the train station tunnels where she's living, picks him up and puts him on a bed, all while wearing her little black jacket and without breaking a sweat. I'm not one for nitpicking, but damn. As I said above, this was just far too fabricated and insincere. 

Do I hate this film? No. Do I love it? No. Do I like it? Yes. 

I just can't fully back it because it's hard to watch something so gut-wrenching and have the pigs responsible for these despicable acts get punished in a watered down way. This film had no problem screwing with male genitalia but, what it needed to grow a bigger set of nuts for the sickness depicted and turn it up a notch. You can't have the antagonists do worse than the protagonist or the point is missed, and that's the case with this sequel.

Would I watch it again? Yeah. Would I buy it? Yeah. Will I watch it often? No. 

The remake is already hard enough to watch, and I like it a lot more than this one. "I Spit on your Grave 2" is Jack Ketchum's "The Girl Next Door", meets Eli Roth's "Hostel". I'm more disappointed than anything with this one. I wish they'd gone more original than predictable. Oh well. 

On a final note, the acting is good. But like the gore and torture aspect of this movie, it takes you out of the experience because it seems so expected and refurbished.

A Serbian Film (2010)

RATED-NR
RUN TIME-104 MINS
WRITER-ALEKSANDAR RADIVOJEVIC, SRDJAN SPASOJEVIC
STARRING-SRDJAN TODOROVIC, SERGEJ TRIFUNOVIC AND JELENA GAVRILOVIC
DIRECTOR-SRDJAN SPASOJEVIC



Synopsis taken from IMDb
In Serbia, the retired porn star Milos is married with his beloved wife Marija and they have a little son, Peter, that is their pride and joy. The family is facing financial difficulties, but out of the blue, Milos is contracted by the porn actress Lejia that offers him a job opportunity in an art film. Milos is introduced to the director Vukmir that offers a millionaire contract to Milos to act in a film. However, Vukmir neither show the screenplay nor tell the story to Milos. Milos discuss the proposal with Marija and he signs the contract. But sooner he finds out that Vukmir and his crew are involved in sick snuff films of pedophilia, necrophilia and torture and there is no way back to him and maybe it is too late to protect his family.


Wow. Where do I begin?

I guess it all started when myself and some other horrorhounds were in a forum chatting about horror films and I've seen all the ones mentioned. I even got some people to add some things to their queue that they haven't seen yet that I recommended. Then a guy comes in talking about A Serbian Film and how it's the most hardcore movie he's seen and how alot of people can't take watching it.

Now call me sick in the head but being a horror fan as hardcore as me means that when I hear someone say a movie is too brutal, gory, violent or just too screwed up I'm intrigued to give it a shot. It's what I do. I want to see anything horror that I can get my hands on. What does that say about me?

So after reading some things online about how screwed up this movie is I tossed the idea around in my head for days asking myself "is it worth it?" and "do you really want to watch that?" and ultimately I answered yes.

The movie starts off slow and steady and right off the bat I can see why people wouldn't want to sit through this. Very vulgar. And once the movie picks up it goes 100 miles per hour hitting you with one horrific thing after another. It certainly picks up the ball and runs with it.

I seriously don't recommend this film to anyone. I think that if you want to watch this on your own accord go right ahead and I hope you enjoy. But there's so many screwed up elements in this film that I don't wanna be the guy people are seeing it because.

My final impression after finishing the film was simple and easy. My jaw was dropped and I had no words. This movie is graphic in every aspect of the word and is not for everybody. I sat through it and didn't have to stop it or turn it off but that doesn't mean I'd watch it again anytime soon.

The sex and violence in this movie are no holds barred. They don't hold back and they're very believable. The gore is the same, very believable.

The film comes off as a glorified snuff film. The stuff they show in this movie is just crazy. It blew my mind. I can't say it was a bad movie either, just a really messed up one. This falls into the category of ones you'd watch every blue moon when you've had time to recuperate from it. Or it falls into the category of you'd never watch it again.

To me, it's one I'd watch every blue moon. And them blue moons are going to be few and far between. But I can't say I'd never watch it again.

This movie gets points for good acting, original story and for having a big brass set of balls and has no fear.

I give this film 3 stars.