NURSE 3D (2013)

RATED- R
RUN TIME- 84 Mins
WRITER(S)- Douglas Aarniokoski and David Loughery
STARRING- Kathleen Turner, Katrina Bowden, and Judd Nelson
DIRECTOR- Douglas Aarniokoski



Synopsis taken from IMDb
Day by day Abby Russell is a dedicated nurse, someone you wouldn't hesitate to trust your life with. But by night, her real work begins...using her smoldering sexuality she lures cheating men to their brutal deaths and exposes them for who they really are. When a younger nurse starts to suspect Abby's actions and compromises her master plan, Abby must find a way to outsmart her long enough to bring the cheater you'd least expect to justice.




The opening minutes of this feature tells you all you need to know and sets the mood. It's provocative, and very feminist, a flick about a woman who kills men in savage ways to punish them for their infidelity. Now, I typically don't go for movies like this unless there's some revenge at the end on behalf of those who meet their demise. However, I was told by several friends who've seen this that it's worth the watch, so I sat it out. It was also brought to my attention that there's a sequel in the works, so I figure now would be as good a time as any to give this one a viewing.

I didn't actually watch this in 3D, but it goes over just fine in basic 2D. I can see the appeal of three dimensional films, but they're totally overrated. There's some pretty grueling kills that are both bloody and creative. An armory of hospital equipment is at the disposal of Abby (Paz de la Huerta), and she uses things like needles and saws to bring men to justice. Some of these murders would go over quite well in 3D, and you can tell a lot of them were designed to jump off the screen at you. But what I was really impressed with was the amount of blood used, especially at the end.

A quote Abby says towards the beginning of the film that got a laugh out of me is: "This job is more than sticking thermometers in butts and looking pretty". Such things make the viewer realize that this is supposed to be a fun experience, and not a very serious one. It's important to note such things because when you read most reviews about this movie, you'll read that it's not very well liked and you can see that those judging it tried to take it seriously, but I didn't. Being a film laced with dark humor doesn't make it a better film, it just goes over better when watching. Believe me, if I judged this movie as a whole and didn't take into account that it's humor is intentional, I'd hate it.

Niecy Nash is in this playing the role as nurse Regina. Most of you know Nash from her role on Comedy Central's "Reno 911". Nash is funny as usual, and adds a nice comedic touch to the film. And Judd Nelson plays the head doctor, Dr. Morris. He's a well-endowed man who sleeps with nurses as blackmail. Upon seeing him and finding this out, it was obvious to assume that he'd meet his end.

There's a lot of nudity. Gratuitous nudity, that is unnecessary. By all means, I'm a heterosexual man who's engaged to be married and loves women. But even I've gotta say that the nakedness throughout this film is a bit absurd. There's not as much sex as there is bare skin showed, but there's sex too. Abby has a thing for ladies, so we get to see some lesbian scenes that are openly a selling factor. It's almost like the filmmakers said 'well, if we're making a lame horror movie, the least we can do is give everyone a ton of nakedness and sex so they'll still have a reason to watch'.

Love making and nudity in movies are the same as gore to me, it's hardly ever needed, but it works when it's used appropriately. But, seeing as I watch "Boardwalk Empire", I knew that Paz de la Huerta isn't afraid of showing it all. I think I've seen her more naked than with clothes on. That's an exaggeration, but you get what I'm saying...

This movie isn't all boobs, blood and guts though. We actually get a little history lesson on Abby's past and learn that she's not who she says she is. In fact, she had a troublesome family and past, in which we get flashbacks towards the latter end of the picture. To prove her insanity, the viewer sees that despite how wrong her doings are, she really believes that she's doing the right thing. And she's as obsessive as she is nutty. This reminds me of "Single White Female" a lot because of the way she develops a fixation for younger nurse, Danni (Katrina Bowden) and ambushes everything good in her life while trying to play the best friend role.

Things change when Danni starts to catch on to Abby's wrongdoings and looks into her past, revealing the shocking truth. But Danni doesn't do this for no good reason, she does it after realizing what a weirdo Abby is, and how Abby has been sending her pictures anonymously online that are inappropriate, trying to break Danni and her boyfriend up. Once Danni goes to the cops, Abby easily manipulates the cops and Danni like she does everyone else and frames Danni for all the murder occurrences. Only problem is that Danni won't go down without a fight. There's a good amount of suspense, but it's not very scary. It's a fun movie, but it's definitely more thriller than anything.

The finale goes down in the hospital in which both Danni and Abby work, which I didn't expect. And it gets extremely messy with blood. Crimson flows everywhere. There's a scissor kill by Abby that is by far my favorite in the whole movie. It's painful to watch,even though it's quick. Some unexpected people die in the third act, and Abby cements herself as the woman you love to hate.

It all ties up in an upbeat way that leaves you with some dark humor and plenty of room for a sequel. And in this movie, there's undoubtedly the sexiest torture scene you'll ever see.

So, the question is how do I rate this one? Seeing as I know what kind of movie it is, I'm not going to judge it based on nonsense things, like the fact that it isn't a serious movie. However, even taking it as it is, it's still not a very good movie aside from it being fun. Yeah, there's some laughs and some gross kills and gore that will surely get a reaction out of you, but that's about all there is to it. It's only entertaining for the duration it's on, and then it's forgotten. So, for the simple fact that I could sit through this once and enjoy it, I'm not going to mash it to pieces.

2.5 stars out of 5

HATE CRIME (2013)

RATED- Unrated
RUN TIME- 73 Mins
WRITER(S)- James Cullen Bressack and Jarret Cohen
STARRING- Jody Barton, Nicholas Adam Clark, and Greg Depetro
DIRECTOR- James Cullen Bressack



Synopsis taken from IMDb
A Jewish family, that just arrived in a new neighborhood, are recording their youngest son's birthday celebrations on video when their home is suddenly invaded by a bunch of crystal-meth-crazed Neo-Nazi lunatics. 




Now, if you read my blog often, or even time to time, you know that I'm one of those horror fans that can't resist a movie that has everyone waving the brutal flag for. If you tell me a film has a reputation like that, odds are I'm gunning to see it. I'll try any movie once, just to say I watched it. Being a horror critic you have to be up to date on what is considered extreme, just common sense, really.

When the movie starts, we're watching the celebration of a child's birthday. We're also introduced to the fact that the mother and father don't seem to get along too well. But before we can get any real character time, the Neo-Nazis invade the Jewish family's home and start wrecking havoc. I was surprised by how quick this film picks up. I guess seeing as it's only 73 minutes long, they had to get to the point quick.

The Nazi terrorists call themselves One, Two, and Three. They're totally off their rocker, and have no idea what they're doing. Often overacted, they're high on meth and wanted to scare the newest family in the neighborhood. But things get taken to an all new level of unnecessary proportions. In fact, one of the three lunatics even tells the family that it wasn't supposed to go down this way, but there's no going back.

So, rather than stop while they're ahead, they just go further with their terrorizing. The first notable thing that I disliked was that through the entire film, everyone is so loud and screaming that it's downright inaudible in parts. Add to that the fact that the Neo-Nazis are wearing masks, and it makes it even harder to hear some of the dialogue. I understand if this were done to maintain a sense of realism, but I would have rather heard what was being said with clarity. Especially since the acting being so poor at times ruins the realism the film creates.

I also have a problem with the fact that this movie takes itself so seriously, but it pussyfoots around the solid details that would have really improved the film. Such as when the mother is being raped. She is raped twice, once by Three, the over-sized meth freak, and a second time by her own son upon being forced by the intruders. And neither of these times does the moms underwear leave her waist. I know I probably sound like a creep saying this, but there's no proper way to say it without being blunt.

If you want to make a film that is built on suspense, then you don't need to show everything. But when you make a movie meant to push boundaries and show everything gruesome, you don't forget details like a rape victim still garnished in lingerie. It's common sense. What I dislike about "Hate Crime" most, is its lack of commitment to being a hardcore horror film, although it tries to pass itself off as one.

There's some serious problems paying attention to detail too, like the fact that the family doesn't fight back at all and just moan and cry like helpless victims. I understand the fact that the idea was to show a family being helpless and victimized, but no one trying to defend themselves is just disappointing. I know that if this type of scenario happened to me, I'd go down fighting, not crying and begging. I also hated how the victims weren't even tied up tight. Here we are, watching them thrash about in their chairs as they're beaten and even branded on the face with swastikas, all the while they're not even tied in tight, and could easily escape. I mean it's pretty clear watching the movie how lose those chords are tied around them. So again, something else that ruins the authenticity of this films attempted realistic feel.  

There's hardly any gore aside from a painful eyeball removal scene that's done off camera. This however, is filmed properly and lets the screams of agony tell the story rather than show you all the details. It's probably the most gruesome thing that happens in the entire film, even though we miss the visual. The entire third act is incredibly suspenseful, and the found footage/documentary style of filming works well for the story.

I think that One, Two, and Three are complete idiots outside of just being racist losers. When the father escapes their grasp, they waste so much time doing nothing. Meanwhile, in reality, someone escaping would cause the protagonists to run in fear of the cops being called. Not in this movie. They just get high and take their time, which is not realistic at all. They stick around beyond when they should, and they record way too much.

Towards the end it doesn't even make sense as to why they're still recording, and you can tell that it's just for the sake of the movie. You can't just leave things go on like that for the sake of the story. There's ways around such hiccups that wouldn't lessen the movies value. Such as just letting the movie cut off, or finding a better reason to let the camera run aside for the sake of having it sit on the dashboard while the meth-heads talk.

In the end, I enjoyed "Hate Crime", but I dislike it for its shortcomings, in which there are many. Nothing irks me more than a horror film with vast potential to beat the walls of conventional-ism down, but chickens out and plays it the safe way. Yeah, it may be hard to stomach, but there's things that constantly remind you that it's only a movie. So the point of the flick is lost, and it just becomes a senseless movie about brutality that dares to push barriers, but doesn't make the cut.

2.5 stars out of 5

SAVAGED (2013)

RATED- Unrated
RUN TIME- 95 Mins
WRITER(S)- Michael S. Ojeda
STARRING- Amanda Adrienne, Tom Ardavany, and Ronnie Gene
DIRECTOR- Michael S. Ojeda



Synopsis taken from IMDb
A deaf girl is brutalized by a murderous gang who are then hunted by her when the bloodthirsty spirit of an Apache warrior inhabits her lifeless body. 




Right away, what I liked about this flick was that I could tell that it takes itself seriously. I knew that it wasn't going to be goofy or watered down with senselessness. I mean, when I read the synopsis for this one, how could I not give it a watch? You can't wave brutality like that in the face of horror fans and expect to not get attention.

When Zoe (Amanda Adrienne) is texting while driving, she almost hits someone in the road who looks hurt. After pulling over and inspecting the mysterious person, she sees that he's injured, and obviously had been attacked. Let me just say that I'm not brave nor dumb enough to get out of the car in situations like this. As long as I didn't hit him or harm him, I'm gonna keep on driving. Only moments later, she becomes the latest attraction for the attackers when they capture her and hold her captive. They tie her in bed using barbed wire and gang rape her, and while most of the rape is done off screen, it's still present, and disturbing.

This is basically the worse case scenario, it's tragic and hard to watch as they victimize Zoe, who was a wholesome and honest girl. Not to mention handicapped. The redneck clan then takes a vote to bury kill her. Unbeknownst to them, she wasn't dead, and they buried her alive. This feature reminds me of "I Spit on Your Grave" and "Pumpkinhead" with a little bit of "The Crow" in there. The only problem is, "Savaged" doesn't live up to any of those movies, it merely imitates them.

And of course, one of the scumbags involved in her capture and rape is a deputy sheriff. When an Indian finds her almost-dead body, he takes her and does a resurrection ceremony, only to awaken the ghost of an Apache warrior who was killed by the ancestor of one of the rednecks responsible for Zoe's demise. The warrior possesses Zoe, and brings her body back for vengeance on all of those who were involved in her death and defeat. As a viewer, you can't help but feel sorry for Zoe, it's tough to sit through what happens to her. Once she starts taking revenge, it's gore galore and very violent, as it should be.

Although I said above that this movie takes itself seriously, and I liked that, some of the acting actually hurts that element. Because the acting isn't all around solid, the movie suffers for it, and I was taken out of the moment several times. Especially the emotional and deep moments. There's some good makeup for a small movie,  but nothing worth praising. And towards the end of the film, it becomes kinda silly and loses it's grip. It's just too much, and it's not scary, there's hardly any suspense.

The most entertaining part about this one was the beginning when Zoe was being brutalized, and it's hardly watchable. It's a real waste that the climax and pay-off are disappointing. It doesn't justify sitting through the first act. The kills are common, but silly because of the native american theme and bad acting. There is a quote that I liked in this movie though: "That's what happens when you drag an Angel into hell- becomes a demon".

I liked how Zoe rots as the film goes on, that's a nice touch. Throughout the film we see Zoe text, and call her boyfriend, who soon goes looking for her. When they meet again, it isn't what either of them want nor expect. I appreciate that there was an attempt at character development, but it doesn't go over well. In the end, I wish this movie were more depraved, as hardcore as it is, it holds out on a lot of things. I don't know if this was for fear of going too far, or if they were just too scared to go the whole mile.

Either way, it walks the line, doesn't cross it. What a shame. The ending is sad, but drawn out too long. Not a bad movie, but it should have been so much better. Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

2.5 stars out of 5

THE SACRAMENT is a gut-wrenching horror experience

RATED- R
RUN TIME- 95 Mins
WRITER(S)- Ti West
STARRING- Joe Swanberg, Kate Lyn Sheil, and Amy Seimetz 
DIRECTOR- Ti West



Synopsis taken from IMDb
Two journalists set out to document their friends search to find his missing sister.




I've waited a long time to see this flick, having been a fan of  Ti West since I caught "The Roost" (2005) on Showtime while just browsing through channels. Since I don't tend to pry into/nor care about the private lives of celebrities or directors, it was a surprise to find out that West is from Wilmington, Delaware, the same place ol' Grimm here resides. It's cool to know there's someone from Delaware keeping it real for horror fans out there.

"The Sacrament", Ti's sixth feature-length film shows him giving the found footage sub-genre a try. We've seen West capture paranormal content before in his films, but this is a more grounded approach, and much scarier, in it's own way. From the jump, it opens with a strong sense of realism, and some good music. The score is notably well done, and just sets you up for what you're about to experience. It's unsettling, and alerts you that something serious is going to happen. Even though nothing happens right away, you know it's coming, and there's even a slight sense of dread.

I knew that there were some similarities to the real-life Jonestown Massacre even before viewing this film, due to my already existing knowledge of that event, and having heard the synopsis for "The Sacrament", back early last year. What I didn't expect was how far this movie was going to go, and I don't think most people do. This is not your conventional horror viewing experience by a long shot, and it's as horrifying as it is sad and tragic.

Sam (AJ Bowen), Patrick (Kentucker Audley), and Jake (Joe Swanberg) are cutting edge journalists and camera men. They take a trip to visit Eden Parish, the commune Patrick's sister, Caroline (Amy Seimetz) left drug rehabilitation to stay at, only to be greeted with trouble instantly. Upon finding out Patrick brought his friends (Sam and Jake) to join him on the trip, the transport men don't seem too keen on the idea. And things go from weird to worse once making it to the commune. At first glance all seems fine and dandy, but to outsiders, it's easy to see how delusional this whole situation is.

Although most of the community are resistant to talk to the journalists, some aren't, and I really liked that you get some screen time with some members, and see how they think and act. I also appreciate that it feels like you're watching behind the scenes of a documentary. After hearing that everyone obeys a man they call Father (Gene Jones), Sam goes for the throat and intends to ream Father in an interview. However, no matter how hard the questions, Father has stronger answers. He has a way about him with charisma and words that pulls you in, and  clouds even the clearest judgement against him. Sam even says that he had trouble concentrating when doing the interview, and didn't get to ask nearly as many questions as he hoped.

With an entire commune backing him, it's easy to see how and why these people live this way, even if you see and understand why and how it's completely wrong. It's very clever storytelling to show you the other side of things, the side that makes it clear to you why these people stay in Eden Parish. If not for this key element in storytelling, the film wouldn't have been as good as it is. If the story just focused on the negative things, and how Father and the commune is bad, it would have been cliche and another recycled found footage wannabe success story. Luckily, that is not the case with "The Sacrament".

Things get very complicated when Sam, Patrick, and Jake start having people beg them for transportation away from the commune. And it becomes clear, that not everyone is as happy with their life in Eden Parish as it looks. The third act of the film is total chaos, and downright heinous. As I said earlier, I was surprised by how far things go, and how it all plays out. Especially the scenes involving children. And while I give West credit for making another solid horror film without having it drenched in gore, the body count is outstanding. It's almost hard to believe the lack of blood shown for so many people dead, and it's all done very tastefully and used as needed.

There's hardly any cliches, in fact the only one that I can honestly remember is the fact that there's no cell signal for Sam, Patrick, and Jake. And under the circumstances it's understandable as to why they have no signal. And the acting is surprisingly good. AJ Bown and Joe Swanberg have been in a lot of horror films in the past couple of years, and never have I seen either of them act so real and genuine. This is their best performances yet, but the movie is crowned by Gene Jones's portrayal of Father. Father is as maniacal as he is sweet and charming, and his sincerity in the role makes the overall experience of watching both compelling and stunning.

This is the found footage sub-genre at its very best. Everything about it is memorable. Trust me, you can't unsee it once you've viewed it. It's the most horrific thing I've seen in recent memory. It's not the type of scary that makes you sleep with the lights on, it's the type to make you cringe and even feel sick. "The Sacrament" is a powerhouse and a modern horror classic, that shows everyone why Ti West is the best director in horror today. All of West's films are close for me, and I won't know until a few more viewings, but it's safe to say that this is quite possibly his best feature yet. It's definitely the best acted, and well worth the wait.

You can catch "The Sacrament" on VOD now or in theaters June 6th. But whatever you do, don't drink the juice...

4 stars out of 5