The Stuff (1985)

RATED-R
RUN TIME-93 MINS
WRITER-LARRY COHEN
STARRING MICHAEL MORIARTY, ANDREA MARCOVICCI AND GARRET MORRIS
DIRECTOR-LARRY COHEN

Synopsis taken from IMDb
Weird yummy goo erupts from the earth and is discovered by a couple of miners. They taste it and decide to market it because it tastes so good. The American public literally eats up the new desert sensation now known as The Stuff but, unfortunately, it takes over the brains of those who eat it, turning them into zombie-like creatures. It's up to ex-FBI agent David Rutherford and a kid named Jason to stop the spread of the mind-devouring dessert.   


The Stuff, or as I like to call it possessed fluffernutter, is plain and simply about the crap we put in our bodies and what it does to us.

In the beginning of the movie a young boy named Jason opens his fridge for a late night snack and sees The Stuff oozing about, moving on its own on the fridge's top shelf. He goes to show his dad and by the time they get back to the fridge The Stuff is neatly back in it's container making young Jason look like a liar. Everyone is addicted to The Stuff.

The movies acting was laughable, but you gotta love it. It's pure 80's awesomeness. It's funny at parts due to some humor and mostly due to the bad effects in the movie. I enjoyed watching this movie, it wasn't horrible and definitely tolerable.

The Stuff rebels and starts attacking and consuming everyone in sight. And the hole time I thought, "hadn't I seen this before in The Blob?" and the answer is yes. Only The Blob was definitely better. The Blob goes down as a classic in my book and this movie would be considered a cult classic.

There wasn't really any gore in this movie which was cool how they made a horror film that required no gore. It did have bad effects though as I've mentioned earlier. Laughable but absolutely classic stuff.

I liked this movie, I'd watch it again sometime if it crosses my way. Not a good film but not forgettable either.

2 stars for me.

Piranha 3DD (2012)

RATED-R
RUN TIME-83 MINS
WRITER-PATRICK MELTON, MARCUS DUNSTAN, JOEL SOISSON, PETE GOLDFINGER AND JOSH STOLBERG
STARRING-DANIELLE PANABAKER, DAVID HASSELHOFF AND MATT BUSH
DIRECTOR-JOHN GULAGER


Synopsis taken from IMDb
Having awoken from their spring break extravaganza at Lake Victoria, the swarm heads upstream where they look to make a meal out of Big Wet, a local water park where when it comes to fun, nobody does it wetter! Though they came to get wet, get loaded and get some, the staff and patrons get more than they bargained for when they must face the fiercest, most bloodthirsty piranhas yet. Lead by strong-willed, studious Maddy and her friends, Barry and Kyle, the trio must dive in and take on these man-eating creatures using every ounce of their being but can they be stopped? 


Now if you go into this movie expecting anything but over the top kills, lots of nudity and lots of humor then you're going to be disappointed in this film. This is a fun movie intentionally throwing humorous kills and gory kills, kills and scenes that had you grossed out and laughing. This is a movie you watch with your friends to laugh and be entertained. The female cast was very attractive. What else did you expect?

The acting was over the top and hilarious, Ving Rhames was great. He was afraid of the water due to losing his legs in the first Piranha. He finally takes a stand and faces his fear of getting in the water and taking on the piranha's. Danielle Panabaker and David Koechner did good jobs of entertaining us, this particular film had a good cast that fits this film.

The gore and body count in this move was insane. Just like in the first Piranha, in Piranha 3DD it's a massive slaughter in a big body of water. Everyone attacked at all angles. There's even a scene similar to Jerry O' Connell's infamous scene in the first film that got a laugh out of me.

David Hasselhoff's cameo in this film was hands down my favorite part of the movie. Especially at the end where he did his Baywatch run to save a child from the deadly fish. He played an exaggerated version of himself. Gotta love a guy with a sense of humor. I laughed hard at him.

This movie wasn't as good as Piranha 3D but it was a good sequel. Piranha 3D had some seriousness to it and Piranha 3DD doesn't take itself serious, it's more of a laid back funny horror film. The humor made it hilarious at points but it also hurt it because it would have been better if it wasn't ALL humor. 

This movie was consistent in its entertainment value, it's a good movie to watch for laughs and to just see people get screwed up. 

This film is in theaters and on PPV. Check it out. You got nothing to lose.

2 1/2 stars is the verdict

Slugs (1988)

RATED-R
RUN TIME-92 MINS
WRITER-JOSE ANTONIO ESCRIVA, SCREEN PLAY, RON GANTMAN, SHAUN HUTSON AND JUAN PIQUER SIMON
STARRING-MICHAEL GARFIELD, KIM TERRY AND PHILIP MACHALE
DIRECTOR-JUAN PIQUER SIMON


Synopsis taken from IMDb
People are dying mysteriously and gruesomely, and nobody has a clue what the cause is. Only health worker Mike Brady has a possible solution, but his theory of killer slugs is laughed at by the authorities. Only when the body count begins to rise and a slug expert from England begins snooping around does it begin to look like Mike had the right idea after all.




This movie was on Netflix instant so I didn't quite have alot of faith in it. I've been on somewhat of a bad run of horror movies on Netflix instant. But I was surprised with this one.

First let me mention that this movie had some good effects and gore! I was surprised by how good these were. Especially when I wasn't expecting alot.

The movie had its corny parts and some of that good ol' 80's cheese. But the only notable part of the cheese was when the slug bites the lead characters finger. It looked totally fake but they only showed it for a split second, so it was well played.

The slug scenes are well played as well, they were pretty legit looking slugs, only giant and black. They can come out of any piping system running through your house because they dwell in the sewer. They can come out of your sink faucet, bathtub faucet, and even your toilet. And there was alot of these things. They were everywhere. They ate people so they pretty much chowed on the townsfolk Piranha style.

This movie is one I'd buy. After watching it I gotta say that I enjoyed it and it was nice to be surprised with a movie you had pretty much written off. Yeah, it's 80's camp horror, but if you're a horror fan you'll like it. It started off good, keeping you intrigued and then the slugs come in and wreck the place. It was pretty well made, I'm a fan. It wasn't great, more like an underground classic, but it was an entertaining horror film.



I'd have to say that my favorite scene in the movie was where the worms exploded out of the guys face. Wow. You knew something was going to happen to him because he kept getting stomach cramps, but you don't think what happened was what was going to happen.

I give the movie 2 1/2 stars

Julia's Eyes (2010)

RATED-NR
RUN TIME-118 MINS
WRITER-GUILLEM MORALES AND ORIOL PAULO
STARRING-BELEN RUEDA, LLUIS HOMAR AND PABLO DERQUI
DIRECTOR-GUILLEM MORALES


Synopsis taken from IMDb
After the death of the blind Sara, who hung herself in the basement of her house, her twin sister Julia suspects that she was actually murdered. Julia has a degenerative problem in her eyes and is losing her sight and she temporarily moves with her husband Isaac to Sara's house to arrange her funeral. Julia goes to Centro Baumann for blinds to where Sara frequented and she learns from the others blind users that Sara had a boyfriend. Julia is chased by a mysterious man but the police inspector Dimas does not believe her. Julia follows the last steps of Sara trying to find the identity of her secret lover. Julia is surrounded by deaths and weird events while she loses her sight.




From the opening scene of the movie I knew that this was going to be a good movie. As Sara's moving about in the basement getting ready to hang herself and she looks into the shadows with her blind white eyes she says "you're there. You're there and your watching me."and then hangs herself. The scene was shot with suspense and elegance and it gave off the feel of an Alfred Hitchcock film.

And the way Julia starts to lose her eyesight progressively as things start to unwind. Right when she needs her eyes the most they fail her. This helps add to the suspense and paranoia of the film. I found it chilling. Put yourself in that situation, you're blind and have a stalker following you. You have no idea where they are or what they might be doing. Very primitive fear inducer.

As the movie progresses it gets better and better, nail biting suspense. As the mystery unfolds you're just engulfed in it and scared as hell for Julia hoping someone will come to the rescue. If you're looking for a good quality movie then this should be on your list. It's subtitled so you have to read it, but it's worth it. And I thought the movie ended well, ended strong. It all unwinded well.

The acting was very good and convincing. Belen Rueda does another great leading role performance. Not as good as in The Orphanage, but still a great performance.

I give this movie 3 1/2 stars solid.