Wednesday, September 4, 2013

AMITYVILLE ASYLUM will drive you insane


Synopsis taken from IMDb
Lisa Templeton begins a new job as a cleaner at High Hopes Hospital, a mental institution in Amityville, Long Island. Initially delighted to get the job, Lisa soon realizes that all is not as it seems.

This marks the 11th film in the Amityville franchise. And I openly have to admit that I do not like any of the Amityville films. I didn't revisit the original movie until recently, which would make it the better part of seven years since I've last seen it. And, it still did nothing for me, I wasn't entertained. The same is to be said for the sequels for me as well. I know part II has a big following behind it but, again, I wasn't impressed. 

I've even watched the newer documentary of Netflix called, "My Amityville Horror", in which the focus is about Daniel Lutz, and his personal confessions about his life, and truth about the haunting's. Strangely enough, I didn't like that one neither. And I now find the things that happened in that house to be more fake and unbelievable than before. Anyway, let's get one with it...

Seeing as the Amityville series has already about milked the cow for every last drop, I was surprised to see such a new take on the whole thing. Rather than make another crappy haunting film, this picture has vision and goes to new places. However, I didn't say they were good places. Before I get critical, I'd like to start by giving props to the filmmakers for trying to go somewhere fresh with this series.

Basically, this film is about Lisa Templeton (Sophia Del Pizzo) and how she needs a job. Despite doing everything but ruining her interview at the hospital, she gets the job as a janitor/cleaning lady. The excitement doesn't last long when she starts to see things around the hospital, like a woman who died earlier in the day. Then she tells her superiors about her visions and suspicions, and like every other predictable ghost story, everyone looks at her like she's crazy, and thinks her to be so. Now, you're probably thinking how this has anything to do with the Amityville series, and I'm going to tell you. 

See, the hospital in which she and everyone else is working is built on top of where the Amityville house was demolished. So of course, Lisa does some digging and finds dirt, like usual. And she comes to find out that she's in over her head with everything going on around her. Again, this film is solely based on fiction, seeing as the real house is still good and standing. This movie is an attempt to take a stab at a new situation, since all other possibilities are wore out from being used in the prior installments. 

The thing that I hated most about this film is that it takes forever getting to it's point. And while you're waiting, you're bored to tears. It's entirely too slow and you're stuck watching characters you don't give a damn about, doing nothing important. This is one of those movies like ones I've mentioned before, where you can get up, use the bathroom, get a snack and drink, text, and come back in the room without having hit pause and still understand everything going on. Watching, I could tell where the film was going, and it was excruciating to stick around for it to play out. So predictable, yet we're dragged through the mud just to see what we already know is going to happen, happen. 

To me, this film goes out of sight, and out of mind like the rest of them. They can be in Walmart's $5 bin all they want, I consider that too high of a price to pay for any of them. And even though it's new, this film will be in that bin with them in no time. 


  1. Interesting, I fully agree on the original Amityville Horror film; I think it's lifeless and lacking in anything approaching real horror. I quite like the 2nd, though, it's good fun.

    I also watched My Amityville Horror, only yesterday, in fact. I thought it was fantastic, even if the guy is clearly a paranoid schizophrenic suffering from severe delusions. Something about it just worked for me.

  2. The part that got me was at the end when they ask him to take a lie detector test and he gets pissed. That disproved everything he said if he's not willing to take a polygraph. So that's what turned me off from the whole thing. I do see how it's entertaining though.

  3. Oh yeah, without a doubt, that part was pretty mental. Saying that, he looks like he is up to his gills with drugs, so he probably would have breezed through that polygraph :-)

  4. Wow, thanks for doing the dirty work for the rest of us! I have to say, I have trouble sitting through films like this and thus, will avoid them at all costs.

    I can't say that I was ever too interested in watching this one ("My Amityville Horror" does look interesting though), but needless to say, I won't be hunkering down to a viewing anytime soon.


    1. Horror fans waste an abundance of time on films not worth it. I'm glad to take the bullet for you guys this time but, next time it's on one of you LOL ;)


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