CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS spreads holiday fear

RATED- Unrated

RUN TIME- 90 Mins

WRITER(S)- Dave Campfield and Joe Randazzo

STARRING- Dave Campfield, Paul Chomicki, and Deron Miller

DIRECTOR- Dave Campfield

Synopsis taken from IMDb

Caesar and his half brother Otto take on duties as Santa and his elf. However, the bodies begin to pile up when a fellow store Santa (CKY's Deron Miller) develops a vendetta against them, he soon turns Caesar's list of dinner guests into a list of Xmas-inspired victims! Featuring cult movie icons, Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, Lloyd Kaufman, Joe Estevez, Felicia Rose, and Robert Z'Dar. 

Right when I thought I was going to have a weekend of nothing new to watch, my screener disc for "Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas" arrived. So, I was glad to have some new viewing material, and the fact that it's packed with cult stars I grew up watching only made me even more excited to give it a watch.

From the start, there's plenty of laughs to go around. This is the type of flick where you can tell if you're going to like it within just a few moments of watching. It's very low-budget, and those who aren't loyal horror fans may not like it's style. To put it simply, this movie is a B movie celebration, and a standing salute to the genre and all those who helped shaped horror into the powerhouse it's become. It doesn't take itself seriously, and because of that, doesn't lose focus of the motion picture that it is.

The dialogue between Caesar (Dave Campfield) and Otto (Paul Chomicki) is ridiculously funny and entertaining. They're two screw-ups who're constantly trying to out do one another. Even though they're close pals and half-brothers, they'll throw each other under the bus any chance they get to further their own lives. The entire concept is hilarious and entertaining. It never becomes really scary, it's more humorous than anything, and it's a hell of a lot of fun!

You just know things are going from bad to worse when Caesar's dinner list becomes a slay list by a store Santa who is previously insulted by Caesar. As the Santa played by Deron Miller starts scratching names off of the list one at a bloody time, it becomes apparent that Caesar and Otto better do something quick before they become the accused.

Seeing scream queen Linnea Quigley on screen never hurts, and it's always a pleasure to see her in new roles. As Donna Blackstone, she is an exaggerated version of herself. There's a really cool "Silent Night, Deadly Night" homage that any genre fan will get. My only complaint is that she isn't in the film enough! Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop) makes a cameo during the end credits that I thought was ingenious, and very humorous. I got a kick out of seeing him also play an over-the-top version of himself.

It seems everyone making this movie had a really good time and just got to be themselves. Of course, there's more cult actors and actresses than that included in the film, such as Felissa Rose who's known primarily for her role as Angela in the 80's slasher film, "Sleepaway Camp".

Starpower aside, this picture stands on its own as a new holiday classic full of blood and laughs that any genre fan should see this holiday season! Using limited resources, a B movie classic has just been birthed, and it's busted its way down my chimney and into my heart. As it will to most who see it.

So, if you like horror-comedies, slashers, and Christmas themed horror films, then you should give this a viewing. It's one I can see myself watching every year around the Christmas season while drinking some spiked eggnog and sharing some quality laughs with friends and family. I'll also be lifting my glass in a nod to all the actors and actresses involved in the film.

Though not a great film, this isn't  for those who are expecting the next epic horror flick. This is for those who can enjoy a throwback to the oldies and know when not to take a movie seriously, and just enjoy it.

"Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas" hits video next week. Don't miss out!

AMITYVILLE ASYLUM will drive you insane

RATED- UNRATED
RUN TIME- 88 MINS
WRITER(S)- ANDREW JONES
STARRING- SARAH LOUISE MADISON, SOPHIA DEL PIZZO, AND KENTON HALL
DIRECTOR- ANDREW JONES



Synopsis taken from IMDb
Lisa Templeton begins a new job as a cleaner at High Hopes Hospital, a mental institution in Amityville, Long Island. Initially delighted to get the job, Lisa soon realizes that all is not as it seems.

This marks the 11th film in the Amityville franchise. And I openly have to admit that I do not like any of the Amityville films. I didn't revisit the original movie until recently, which would make it the better part of seven years since I've last seen it. And, it still did nothing for me, I wasn't entertained. The same is to be said for the sequels for me as well. I know part II has a big following behind it but, again, I wasn't impressed. 

I've even watched the newer documentary of Netflix called, "My Amityville Horror", in which the focus is about Daniel Lutz, and his personal confessions about his life, and truth about the haunting's. Strangely enough, I didn't like that one neither. And I now find the things that happened in that house to be more fake and unbelievable than before. Anyway, let's get one with it...

Seeing as the Amityville series has already about milked the cow for every last drop, I was surprised to see such a new take on the whole thing. Rather than make another crappy haunting film, this picture has vision and goes to new places. However, I didn't say they were good places. Before I get critical, I'd like to start by giving props to the filmmakers for trying to go somewhere fresh with this series.

Basically, this film is about Lisa Templeton (Sophia Del Pizzo) and how she needs a job. Despite doing everything but ruining her interview at the hospital, she gets the job as a janitor/cleaning lady. The excitement doesn't last long when she starts to see things around the hospital, like a woman who died earlier in the day. Then she tells her superiors about her visions and suspicions, and like every other predictable ghost story, everyone looks at her like she's crazy, and thinks her to be so. Now, you're probably thinking how this has anything to do with the Amityville series, and I'm going to tell you. 

See, the hospital in which she and everyone else is working is built on top of where the Amityville house was demolished. So of course, Lisa does some digging and finds dirt, like usual. And she comes to find out that she's in over her head with everything going on around her. Again, this film is solely based on fiction, seeing as the real house is still good and standing. This movie is an attempt to take a stab at a new situation, since all other possibilities are wore out from being used in the prior installments. 

The thing that I hated most about this film is that it takes forever getting to it's point. And while you're waiting, you're bored to tears. It's entirely too slow and you're stuck watching characters you don't give a damn about, doing nothing important. This is one of those movies like ones I've mentioned before, where you can get up, use the bathroom, get a snack and drink, text, and come back in the room without having hit pause and still understand everything going on. Watching, I could tell where the film was going, and it was excruciating to stick around for it to play out. So predictable, yet we're dragged through the mud just to see what we already know is going to happen, happen. 

To me, this film goes out of sight, and out of mind like the rest of them. They can be in Walmart's $5 bin all they want, I consider that too high of a price to pay for any of them. And even though it's new, this film will be in that bin with them in no time.