Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Lords of Salem is Rob Zombie's Scariest Movie Yet

"We've been waiting...we've always been waiting"


Synopsis taken from IMDb
Heidi, a radio DJ, is sent a box containing a record-- a "gift from the Lords." The sounds withing the grooves trigger flashbacks of her own violent past. Is Heidi going mad, or are the Lords back to take revenge on Salem, Massachusetts? 

Let me start off by saying how overdue we are for a good witch movie. Witches are creepy, if done right and I don't know if I'm the only one but they seem underused. Luckily Rob Zombie has changed that. Within the first five minutes of the film we see a handful of completely nude women including Sheri Moon Zombie. However, Sheri is the only attractive one of the lot. I never thought I'd praise someone on showing ugly women nude, but it really added to the authenticity of the witches. 
Witches are ugly, horrid women and shouldn't be portrayed as beautiful people, something a lot of people get wrong. 

While the movie is a bit predictable, it isn't entirely a giveaway. The story unfolds well and there are some bits along the way that you don't expect or foresee. Zombie doesn't rely on cheap pop scares with loud music and sudden movements. It's the subtle scares that haunt you and you remember. Although the movie takes place present day, yet again Zombie captured the feel of a good 70's horror film.

Sheri Moon doesn't play a ditsy blonde in this film like in "House of a 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects". Instead, she plays a normal girl living a normal life and is harrowed by sudden terror. We also get hints that she's an ex drug user but is currently clean. It was refreshing to see her play a different role. I'm not saying she's a great actress, but she tried her beautiful little heart out and did a good job. 

There's some scenes that are downright disturbing, such as a witch licking the blood off of a freshly newborn baby and then spitting in it's face several times. The church scene was pretty vulgar as well. I'll let you see what I mean for yourselves.

It's great to see a new vision of witches and it's even greater to see scary witches. I'd hate to jump the shark here, but it is my belief that horror is making a HUGE comeback. With the awesome Evil Dead remake being as critically praised as it was, let alone the box office earnings, and other future promising horror films such as "The Purge" I think it's safe to say we're on a streak here. Not to mention Fox's new smash show The Following, A&E's Bates Motel and NBC's Hannibal all keeping their audiences watching. And don't forget The Walking Dead. The Lords Of Salem is one to add to that streak for certain.

If you'd like to read another review in good favor of this film check out Hellbilly Hollywood's write-up.



  1. I'm not the biggest Rob Zombie fan, but this film looks a bit different from his usual.

    That zombie looking priest on the poster has a bit of a Lucio Fulci zombie feel to it.

    Not sure when it comes out in the UK, but I'll be sure to check it out!

    Good to see you back Grimm!


  2. Thanks Mike, it's good to be back.

    Actually it comes out in the UK on dvd tomorrow I believe, so check that out.

    I'm not the biggest Rob Zombie fan either. I enjoyed "House of a thousand Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" but after he butchered Halloween I threw in the towel.

    This one was one of his original movies and not a remake so I decided to give it a go. And it definitely has a Lucio Fulci feel to it, good eye.

  3. This is the first review, good or bad, that has shown any promise. Im a huge Zombie fan, but have been super torn with LoS. Both good and bad reviews don't seem too encouraging. That is, till this one. I just keep hearing it doesnt have an ending. Without spoilers, would you say that is the case?

    1. I guess they're saying that because it does end somewhat abruptly without much explanation. But it's one of those movies that doesn't need to be explained, if you pay attention it makes sense. It's just like a 70's horror film.

      Hope this helps!

  4. Alrighty. thanks for the info. Ill watch it of course, I dont miss a Zombie film.

  5. Wait... "a normal girl living a normal life"... Dafuq?

    A middle-aged ex-heroin addict covered in ink who went to a mythical, non-existent university and who now works as a DJ at a mythical, non-existent radio station is "normal"? In what universe?

    Also, where are the scares? All I saw was a fake arty-farty knock off of "Rosemary's Baby" using Kubrick-style camerawork.

    Bumhole Productions strikes again with the discovery contrivance too.

    1. Well, she is living a normal life now in the current time. I'm not referring to her past. I'm stating that as of where she was when the movie began, she just worked at a radio show station. Nothing abnormal about her. Unless you want to hold her tattoos against her.

      As far as the scares go, I found the kitchen scene a bit creepy and wasn't expecting that. The suspense was the real scary part, and I don't do Satan and demon shit too well. Possession and all that is the scariest thing to me.

      You're right with the "Rosemary's Baby" thing, I also thought it reminded me of "The Sentinel".

      I haven't liked anything Zombie's done since "The Devil's Rejects", so by no means am I going to defend this film to someone who doesn't like it. I know what it's like to hate a Rob Zombie movie. With him you either love it or you hate it, ya know?

    2. And scares as in terms of compared to his other movies. I found this the creepiest by far. Nothing scary about his other films to me.

  6. I really can't wait to see it, and judging from your review, I am really going to enjoy it!!

  7. Definitely a creepy messed up movie, incredibly similar in tone to the works of José Mojica Marins.

  8. Oh! Of course. Sorry about that. I read so many reviews I lost track. But yeah, even though this review scared me a bit, it was the first that gave me real hope.

    I added the link into my entry. Thanks again for the info and advice.

    1. Yeah, I figured that's what it was lol. I'm posting your link in my post as well.


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