Machete Kills (2013)

RATED- R
RUN TIME- 107 Mins
WRITER(S)- Kyle Ward, Robert Rodriguez, and Marcel Rodriguez
STARRING- Danny Trejo, Alexa PenaVega, and Mel Gibson
DIRECTOR- Robert Rodriguez



Synopsis taken from IMDb
The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space.




Ever since Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse double feature landed in 2007, I've been a fan of both films. I've also been a fan of "Machete" ever since the fake trailer in "Planet Terror", and I thoroughly enjoyed the first movie.

The biggest complaints that I hear about "Machete Kills" is that it's "cheesy" and "ridiculous". However, I came to find that those who make those remarks are just as idiotic as those statements. Anyone who's a fan of cinema, and watched the Grindhouse films, knows that these flicks are nods to the old 70's exploitation films. And back then, they didn't have all the money and fancy techniques that we have today. So, these films are totally authentic to match how things were done back in the day. So no, I don't want to hear any crap about how over-the-top it is.

If you don't like it because it looks like an old movie, that means you don't like older movies. And if you don't like old movies, or black and white films, or subtitles, then I'm glad to tell ya that you aren't a true film fan or buff. Real movie fans watch anything. Those who only watch films from the last ten years, aren't in my league, and this movie goes right over their heads.

Now on the other hand, if you dislike this motion picture for another reason(s), then you're allowed to have your own opinion. Can't please them all. I can appreciate someone who can take a step back from a movie and really assess it, not just discredit it because of nonsense reasons, regardless of if you like it or not.

Now, I happen to like my movies fun (when it's deliberate). And I happen to be a big fan of Robert Rodriguez. He's one of the most tactical and ingenious directors in the world today. Not many people can do what he does, the way he does it. You always know when you're watching a Robert Rodriguez film because they're a blast, and because they're always stuffed with all-star casts, as well as some sweet visuals.

Such is the case with this motion picture. Having liked the first "Machete" film, I actually made the mistake of letting the naysayers get into my brain when all the negative feedback for this movie came out. However, I didn't let that deviate me from seeing it. And I'm glad, because I made the right call. Now, I actually like "Machete Kills" more than the first film! I rented it from the nearest redbox after reserving it online, and I ended up watching the film three times as well as the bonus stuff before I returned it the next day. Then, I went and rented it again a few days later to watch it with my dad, who also loved it and wants to own it.

This film really stepped things up a notch, creating more deadly foes for Machete to fight, such as Voz, played by Mel Gibson. Gibson does a really good job at playing this role. It's not the best role he's ever played in, but he's awesome in this one. There's a lot of humor from all characters, even the president of the United States, Charlie Sheen. There's a lot of laughs all around, and if anything, Rodriguez did make this film more of a parody than the other film, but it's so cleverly well done that I can't help but think it's a really cool movie.

The fight scenes and gore are a plenty! Again, Machete finds creative new ways to butcher his enemies, using an array of weapons from defibrillation, to his trusty weapon of choice, the machete. I particularly like the scene where Machete a character's intestines into helicopter blades for a gruesome outcome. I won't say who meets this brutal demise to save it for those who've yet to see it.

Seeing Machete on his new journey, and getting to see new sides of the character is always going to be a good thing, and not a bad thing. I really enjoyed watching Machete do work and wipe people out in unheard of ways. I also liked seeing such a great female cast, such as Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, who reprise their roles, and the addition of Sofia Vergara and Lady Gaga. It looks as though Robert Rodriguez knows that having a bad-ass female cast definitely bumps a movie up to a new level.

It's not just the ladies that are great though, because the casting all around is superb. You've got Demian Bichir, Antonio Banderas, Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., and last but not least Tom Savini. Now take all of them and add to them Danny Trejo and the great job he does of playing Machete, and you've got a winning combination in my book. Also, the fact that all of these actors and actresses are in this film and are playing such radical characters, shows how much of a sense of humor they all have. You can tell they had fun making this movie, and that helps make the movie fun for the viewer. That is of course, if you're not judging this next to "The Godfather", and actually understand what kind of movie this is.

If you make a motion picture that's supposed to be taken seriously and it only achieves the fun and entertainment value to audiences, then the film failed. However, if you make a movie that's supposed to be an over-the-top cheesefest with lots of laughs and cool action, and it's received by audiences as fun and entertaining, then you did your job as a director. Such is the case with Robert Rodriguez and this flick.

Nothing really bad to say about this one. It's not the greatest film I've ever seen, but damn if it isn't fun as hell, and guaranteed for another couple dozen watches.

I can only hope and pray that "Machete Kills Again...In Space" gets made. Seeing as this one made nearly four times what it was made on at the box office, I'm sure the third installment is a go. Also, from what I've heard, it may already be filmed! One can only hope.

3.5 out of 5 stars

ELYSIUM (2013)

RATED- R
RUN TIME- 109 Mins
WRITER(S)- Neill Blomkamp
STARRING- Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, and Sharlto Copley
DIRECTOR- Neill Blomkamp



Synopsis taken from IMDb
In the year 2154, the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. A man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds.




Having enjoyed "District 9", I was very much looking forward to checking out this film. Neill Blomkamp made quite the name for himself with his first feature, so I figured he'd be someone to follow. Especially since this also tends to be a visual effects movie, the same way District was, I figured this one might be worth a watch.

As it turns out, I watched it twice (laugh). And although I liked it, I still found it disappointing. I think that there was a lot of hype on this film and on Blomkamp, because people now have an expectation of how good his films should be. But, this one just doesn't live up to it's potential.

I think the main reason that this doesn't go over as smoothly as  "District 9" is because it's far too political. You can smell it radiating off of the movie. It's very obvious and in your face, and very blunt. It's just as political and metaphorical as George A. Romero's 2005 zombie film "Land of the Dead", if not worse. Blomkamp has a tendency to incorporate messages through his films, but this just felt unnecessary and not what I was expecting. It's basically a futuristic way of trying to tell the story of people demanding equal respect from their government.

Only it's done with fancy trinkets and lots of special effects and cgi, to help you wash down the overly redundant topic. You can always go watch "V for Vendetta" if you want the same basic principal of story told, and better told while at it.

I think that's what was such a letdown to me. This film had myself and everyone thinking it was going to be epic, and it turned out to have no major performances in it, and ended up just coming off and being treated like an action sci-fi movie. I sound like a snob, but point blank, I expected a better film.

The action scenes, and special effects are well done, and very cutting edge and cool. But again, I wanted more than just fancy fight scenes and a lot of explosions, but I attended the wrong movie. This flick is good for all the wrong reasons. It's good because it's fun, not because it's a well made piece of cinema.

As the story plays out, it becomes a tad predictable. It's like a super breed of a generic movie. It's easy on the eye, and has a sense of intelligence to it. But, there's something missing, a vital piece. It's hard to put my finger on. In the end, I like "Elysium", but it should have been so much better than it is. It's not something I'd watch often.

On the positive side, I think that Matt Damon did a great job playing Max. Damon is very sympathetic and genuine in this role, and he does a good job at making it easy to side with his character. It's not the best acting I've seen from Damon, but it's still pretty good. I believe the character of Max is the common man in today's economy, just trying to make it by, and hope to get treated fairly. Only since this is a movie, he gets to get revenge and bring hell down on those who've earned it.

However, although Matt Damon plays a likable character, he's the only performance that really stands out. Sharlto Copley hardly gets enough screen time to allow us as an audience to really get any character development, so the performance isn't his best work. Add to that, he's a villain, so there's really nothing to like about his character, and there's nothing that stands out and makes his acting or the character memorable. As a matter of fact, I'm willing to bet that the only person people talk about after seeing this film is Matt Damon.

Not to mention, Jody Foster, who really doesn't do much for the film aside from add it's main villain. She does a good job at it, but her acting isn't anything worth mentioning, so I won't. It's easy to play a bad guy and good guy. It's hard to make the character read on screen as more than just  cut and dry, good or bad. There's no layers to her character, Delacourt. So I can't say that I'm impressed with Jody in this one. Let's hope she does something a little more memorable in her next flick, whatever that may be.

At the end of the day, "Elysium" is a fun film for lots of stylized fights and scenery. And if you don't let the thickness of it's political message cloud your air, you just may enjoy it!

3 out of 5 stars

TUESDAY TOY REVIEW: Hot Toys' "The Crow" Eric Draven 1/6 scale figure

Now, although I do despise the crowd it's become appealing to thanks to stores like Hot Topic, "The Crow" has always been one of my favorite films. I'd say it's in my top four of all-time. I saw the film back in 1994 when it came out, and although I was rather young at my age to be seeing such a dark and graphic film, I fell in love.

Something that most people know about me is that I'm a big collector of movie stuff and high-end action figures. If you're gonna spend, might as well spend big, right? Well, after about 12 years of collecting, and finally a worthy figure from "The Crow" has been unleashed by none other than the mad people over at Hot Toys. So of course, naturally, I purchased it. If you knew me, you'd know how much I have to have this figure. This marks my 12th Hot Toys figure too!

Now, I heard some complaints around the web about things that some people don't like about this figure, some of which I can understand, some of which I don't, and disagree. You gotta understand that there's just some collectors out there who you cannot please. They think that because they're spending $200 on an action figure that it's going to be a clone of the person the figure is of. That is not the case. I expect high-end collectibles that are easy on the eye and worth the money, nothing more. And that is what I've got.

This guy stands 12" tall and has over 30 points of articulation. So he's capable of just about any realistic pose you could want to put him in, which is always awesome. He also has three different sets of hands, a guitar, stand, and a crow that can either sit on him or be made to look like it's flying. And if you get the exclusive edition, like me, you get a weather vane as an accessory for if you wanted to pose him like he was towards the end of the film.

Fresh out of the box I was impressed! The outfit is spot on, and the Brandon Lee likeness is damn good. While I'll admit, and agree with others, it doesn't look as much like him as it could, we've seen better from Hot Toys. But still an impressive sculpt and paint job. And regardless, it's the nicest Eric Draven figure in the world.

I also like the crow itself. It's very rich in detail. There's very subtle things that make me enjoy this collectible, such as Shelly's ring on the necklace around his neck, and how it's actually sculpted. Up until now, all the toy companies were to lazy to actually sculpt her ring like Hot Toys did. Everyone else just puts a gold ring on a necklace, no attention to detail. And it's reasons like that as to why I collect Hot Toys.

Complaints would have to be that I'd like to have seen a more weathered look to his makeup, instead of it looking so fresh. But, I'm hoping that Hot Toys is saving that for a second figure release in the near future. Although the makeup looks fresh, the paint job is impeccable! A friend of mine who saw my figure was afraid to touch it for fear that he'd "rub the makeup off". So yeah, it actually looks like makeup, and it's applied well. I just think a more weathered look would have been great for more detail.

I also think that they could have gone bigger with his stand/base. Most figures nowadays get big diorama looking bases, and this one got the standard nameplate stand. Which again leaves me to believe that Hot Toys was just testing the water with this one to see how big the market is for a figure from "The Crow". It's funny, because I remember signing a petition for Hot Toys to make an Eric Draven figure years ago with a group of other collectors. And now here it is, in my hands. It's a cool feeling for the geek in me.

Anyway, if and when another figure is made, I'll be sure to grab it, just like I did this one. Hopefully they'll go a bit bigger next time. But until/if that happens, I'm just fine with this one.

For those of you interested in purchasing one of these, just click here.

4 out of 5 stars

Next Tuesday's toy review

ROBOCOP isn't the same machine

RATED- R
RUN TIME- 117
WRITER(S)- Joshua Zetumer, Edward Neumeier, and Michael Miner
STARRING- Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, and Michael Keaton
DIRECTOR- Jose Padila



Synopsis taken from IMDb
In 2028 Detroit, when Alex Murphy - a loving husband, father and good cop - is critically injured in the line of duty, the multinational conglomerate OmniCorp sees their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer. 




I'm going to start off this review by stating that unlike most people, I do not hold the original 1987 "Robocop" in high regard. I mean, I like it, but it's no "The Terminator". So, going into viewing this, I wasn't worried about them sullying a film that I hold in high regard. I was however, completely turned off by the black suit. Even I was face-palming at how they made Robocop look like Cobra Commander from the awful "G.I. Joe" films that have came out as of late.

Like most reboots and remakes, there's things I like and dislike about this telling of the tale. I think that they were on the right track with the idea but, about halfway through the film, it seems it was just pieced together however it would fit. And of course, like most movies nowadays, there was little-to-zero character development. I appreciate the fact that they tried to give backstory with Alex Murphy and his family, but it wasn't enough to ever make me really care for the character. I was just looking for cool effects about midway through, when I gave up on the story improving.

In all actual truth, I don't think that there are many things that this movie improved on aside from the design of the suit, and the special effects and cgi. There's more negative to say than positive. Such as, Joel Kinnaman doesn't do as good of a job playing the half-man, half-machine cop as well as Peter Weller once did. However, I think part of that has to do with how the story seemed to rush any emotional scenes, so I blame the writing, not the acting. Had there really been time invested in getting to know the character, I might have said otherwise.

"Robocop" also seems to be a bit dulled down, besides having a cool looking suit (when it's not black). He just didn't come off as much of a bad-ass as he did in the 1987 movie. He isn't as tough or resistant, and his fighting isn't as impressive. He tends to need more help, and is hurt easily. I figured it was because in modernizing the film, they wanted to ground it and make it as realistic as possible. But, it didn't better the film. It took the some fun out of it to be honest.

I really enjoyed seeing Michael Keaton playing a villain. Hell, I've always liked Keaton. But even he couldn't save this film from becoming just another popcorn flick for the kids to watch. See, I don't mind that it's not taken seriously, and I don't mind it being a popcorn flick, but when the original motion picture is a serious Terminator-esque R rated picture, it really pales in comparison.

The movies main twist isn't nearly as impactful, and it's not as political or meaningful as a film overall. The deception angle is weak, and it just came off as too easy and simple. There was no complexity to anything, it is just cut and dry, fun. Nothing more. I find this an unnecessary reboot for such a mediocre story. Should have left "Robocop" series sleeping until something better came along as a worthy reason of awakening it.

So, aside from the fact that I can say "hey, that was a fun movie. Cool effects and some good laughs", there's nothing to praise this movie for. I remained entertained, but that's not nearly enough.

2 out of 5 stars