Throwback Thursday Review: 'THE MONSTER SQUAD' (1987)

Directed by Night of the Creeps (1986) director, Frank Dekker, and starring Tom Noonan (Heat), Duncan Regehr (Air Bud 3), and Andre Gower (Sweet Deadly Dreams), The Monster Squad is a tale that adults and children alike can enjoy. It's a heartwarming story about a group of children who find themselves in a real life face-off against cinemas most famous monsters to ever grace the big screen.

Frankenhooker (1990)

"A Terrifying Tale of Sluts & Bolts"

RATED- R
RUN TIME- 85 MINS
WRITER(S)- FRANK HENENLOTTER AND ROBERT MARTIN
STARRING- JAMES LORINZ, JOANNE RITCHIE AND PATTY MULLEN
DIRECTOR- FRANK HENENLOTTER



Synopsis taken from IMDb
A medical student sets out to recreate his decapitated fiance by building her a new body made of Manhattan street hookers.




I first saw this movie just two nights ago and instantly fell in love with it. I've seen it around before and I've heard of it, but I'd never watched it. Now, I'm very glad I did. "Frankenhooker" had all the ingredients to make me a happy man.

I love how although it's very loosely based on Mary Shelly's "Frankenstein" novel, they still throw out little homages. Like the lead character Jeffrey's last name is Franken, and his fiance's last name is Shelly, it's little touches like that that'll make me appreciate this movie. They knew they weren't making an Oscar winning movie, they were making a good, fun horror comedy.

When Jeffrey's fiance Elizabeth gets chopped to pieces by Jeffrey's remote controlled lawnmower I couldn't help but laugh. I knew from the beginning this was going to be a fun watch. The effects are so corny and cheesy, yet they're endearing. This falls right into the category of "Re-Animator" and "Elvira, Mistress of the Dark" with it's humor and entertainment quality. It's not as good as either of the films mentioned, but it's in the same class and one I'd definitely watch again, and with friends.

There's so many funny parts that're so memorable. One of the things that really had me going was the super crack that Jeffrey concocts in order to get the hookers high and in a catatonic state so he can take the limbs from each hooker he wants. He first tests it on a gerbil, and the crack is so potent that the little guy explodes.  Needless to say when the hookers take it the same thing happens to them, which is hysterical.  And Jeffrey doesn't need to surgically cut the hookers' limbs off because their bodies are all over the floor and in pieces. So he can just take what he wants and go.

After using all the limbs he's gotten off of the prostitute, Jeffrey gets to work on making his fiance whole again. But it never works out like they plan it to, does it? Elizabeth comes back and is a horny, greedy hooker. All the parts used to create her from prostitutes caused her to become one. Elizabeth storms the city looking for a good pay day.

The whole movie is enjoyable, even Jeffrey hunting her down to bring her back home. And yes, it does have an expected ridiculous and funny ending that perfectly fits this film.

Believe it or not, there's not any serious or hardcore sex scenes in this movie. It's actually not that type of movie at all, it's just got some nudity but just about every horror film does. 

I really liked Elizabeth's look. It's cheap, but fitting and she looked cool. She'd be a very cool Halloween costume, if you've got the body for it. She was the perfect female version of Frankenstein's monster and Patty Mullen was on point playing her.

There's not too much to analyze with this movie. It's pretty straight forward and is what it is. The only thing that there is to say is that this is yet another movie that shows how playing God never works out for anyone. If anything it goes ten times worse than you can even imagine when weighing the consequences out. It's about the abuse of power men would have if we had such an ability to create life and it shows how stupidly we'd waste it. "Frankenhooker" is a black comedy that tells this story in an entertaining and lighthearted way.

I'll be buying this one on DVD or Blu-Ray soon. I must own this. I've got a few people I'm going to turn  onto this movie as well. I know they'll enjoy it as much as I have.

THIS FILM GETS 3 REAPER SKULLS OUT OF 5

The Frankenstein Theory attempts to sparks new life

RATED- UNRATED
RUN TIME- 87 MINS
WRITER(S)- VLADY PILDYSH AND ANDREW WEINER 
STARRING- KRIS LEMCHE, JOE EGENDER AND TIMOTHY V. MURPHY
DIRECTOR- ANDREW WEINER



Synopsis taken from IMDb
From the filmmaker's of "The Last Exorcism" comes a boldly original vision of horror. What if the most chilling novel of all time was based on a true account of a horrific experiment awry ?




Frankenstein is my favorite Universal classic monster, he's the best. Pure and simple. I read Mary Shelly's Frankenstein novel shortly after being introduced to the movies and I liked it the same. It's one of my favorite books of all time. The fact that "The Frankenstein Theory" breathes new life into the book and movie(s) caught my attention instantly.

Professor John Venkenheim (Kris Lemche) pays a film crew to follow him in his adventures of seeing if his theory is true. His theory is that Mary Shelly's book was only sold as fiction to cover up the truth, and that it all actually happened. John has the letters that are the starting pages of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein as proof that she didn't make the details up when writing the book. The film crew believe John to be crazy but follow him anyway into the arctic circle, where he believes Frankenstein is living.

The movie has a really plot and the creativity are huge positives for this movie. The idea of this film is truly genius. Unfortunately, it doesn't live up to the potential it had. You could say if it had a bigger budget it would have been a better movie, or you could say that if they had a bigger director with more vision like Guillermo del Toro it would have been better. And it would be true. Kudos for the hard effort though.

As the story unwinds and we get a closer and closer idea of if Frankenstein is real, it would have been nice to have had some more suspense going. This film lacks suspense and that would have been a big helper in improving this movie. There's a few tense scenes, but nothing to scare you or rattle your bones. Even though the story proves well and delivers, it doesn't matter when you're missing so many other key elements, like a cast we care about.

"The Frankenstein theory" is just under 90 minutes and for that, I can't say I don't recommend it. But if you're a big Frankenstein fan, don't get your hopes up. It's a bit of a let down. However, one of the things that I did like about the movie that others didn't was the fact that you don't really get to see Frankenstein. But with me, I enjoy what you don't see as much as what you do see. It would have been nice to get up close and see cool make-up but better to not show details if they're not going to be worth the payoff.

THIS FILM GETS 2 1/2 REAPER SKULLS OUT OF 5

Frankenweenie (2012)

*** S  P  O  I  L  E  R  S***

"The electrifying dog is back from beyond the grave."

RATED- PG

RUN TIME- 87 MINS

WRITER(S)- LEONARD RIPPS, TIM BURTON AND JOHN AUGUST

STARRING- WINONA RYDER, CATHERINE O'HARA AND MARTIN SHORT

DIRECTOR- TIM BURTON

Synopsis taken from IMDb

Young Victor conducts a science experiment to bring his beloved dog Sparky back to life, only to face unintended, sometimes monstrous, consequences. 

STORY: I first saw the original 1984 Frankenweenie short film about 7 or 8 years ago when I bought The Nightmare Before Christmas on DVD. I liked it a lot. It was dark and demented, but also sort of cute. However, that was at a time when I still was a fan of Tim Burton's work. One of the cool things about Frankenweenie was the teacher being a Vincent Price look-alike and they kept that true in this full feature film. I'm a big Price fan.

Victor Frankenstein is a filmmaker and a scientist. He is known around school as being extremely intelligent, but he has no friends and no life. So his father insists he gets out of the house and Victor follows suit. He gets involved in a baseball game and hits his first ever home run, but his victory is instantly turned to gloom. When his dog Sparky chases the ball Victor hit it leads to his demise when he's hit by a car and killed. Victor remembers a recent science demonstration he saw of electricity making dead frogs move. Victor digs up Sparky and makes a laboratory.

Once the experiment goes right Sparky escapes into the neighborhood and is spotted by Igor, a kid Victor sees and interacts with now and again. Igor blackmails Victor into giving him his secret. Igor shows off his invisible goldfish to some "cool kids" at school and they make Victor give up his formula. The bullies ensue the Victor's whole class to make their own experiments and his secrecy of Sparky to even his parents is over. Soon after, the town is in fear of their lives as the monsters their sons and daughters created and it's up to Victor and Sparky to stop it. 

I had heard this movie has a sad ending and it did. However, it is short lived. This is just another story about how playing God only makes things go a billion times worse than possible. It's about letting go and moving on. It's about not compromising the laws of physics and moral for the sake of ones benefit. And ultimately, it's about how attempting to create life is a bigger burden than anyone can handle and too much power.

Victor greets Sparky upon his arrival back to life.

ANIMATION/FX: The animation in this film was great but also typical. It's a cool idea but it's nothing we haven't seen before. It's very generic and was better understood as a short film. Instead, you have a full length movie with black and white claymation. It's just unimpressive.

OVERALL: This story hits a spot with me that will always be a fan of Burton, but it's not enough. This, like all his other recent movies show how tired his material is. It's the same package wrapped in a different paper. Frankenweenie is probably the only last decent film Burton has left and it's not even original. To the Burton that brought us Sleepy Hollow, Beetlejuice, Big Fish, Batman and Edward Scissorhands, I ask you to please move on and do something new or hang up the goofy hat.

THIS FILM GETS 3 REAPER SKULLS OUT OF 5

Monster Brawl (2011)

*** S  P  O  I  L  E  R  S ***

"It's the fight of the living dead!"

RATED- R

RUN TIME- 89 MINS

WRITER(S)- JESSE T. COOK

STARRING- DAVE FOLEY, ART HINDLE AND ROBERT MAILLET

DIRECTOR- JESSE T. COOK

Synopsis taken from IMDb

Eight classic monsters fight to the death in an explosive wrestling tournament set inside an abandoned and cursed graveyard.

STORY: This was a movie that I've had on my Netflix instant queue for a while now. I've heard some things about this movie and it got me interested enough to give it a shot. The whole movie is shot like a wrestling pay-per view from hell. Cameo's are made by UFC referee Herb Dean and long time wrestling manager Jimmy Hart, who is held in the company of some very attractive ring girls. Jimmy Hart actually favorited a tweet I made right after watching this movie, which I thought was cool.

I liked that it was filmed in a cemetery, although the set was somewhat poorly done and in one of the scenes where Frankenstein is being bashed with tombstones from The Wolfman you can see how apparent it is that the tombstones are foam. The setting of the film wasn't creative but it was fitting. The commentating during this movie will keep you laughing as well and I especially like that there are backstories and promo's for the monsters. The Wolfman comes off the most like a wrestler with some decent microphone skills.

There's some good monsters in here like Lady Vampire and The Mummy. They also have what I guess is their version of the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Swamp Gut, a gassy and nasty slob of a being. Swamp Gut reminds me of what I think Swamp Thing would look like if he stopped working out. However, due to the caliber of the monsters, I found it obvious that it would come down to Frankenstein and The Wolfman. I was rooting for good ol' Frankie to win, and he does, but what an epic fight it is. I'm not certain on if there will be a sequel to this or not, but they definitely leave it open for one when Frankenstein is confronted by a zombified Kevin Nash.

Swamp Gut prepares to face off against the angry Wolfman

ACTING: The acting in this movie is poor and downright cheesy and ridiculous. But that is the type of movie this is, you'll find no Christian Bale in this movie. It isn't about acting, it's the entertainment value you get out of it.



SPECIAL FX/CREATURES: The special effects in this movie suffer a bit with some of the creatures looks and designs. You can tell this wasn't a big budget movie, Frankenstein and The Wolfman looked cool though. I like the intensity Frankenstein had because it matched his severely disfigured face and body. The other creatures weren't very creative in their designs or execution of their designs. I felt like the whole movie was just a means to let Frankenstein rip the Wolfman's head off.



OVERALL: This movie appeals to the manly nature in us men, you women may not like it as much. It taps into our inner child who used to watch wrestling and watch these monster movies and have our minds blown. It combines both things and is pure fun, I don't mean to sound cliche but it's a blast. It's a movie you can watch over and over again. It's a good one to watch with your buddy's while passing the popcorn and drinking beer. This is also a good way to introduce your kids to these monsters, but there is some gore.

THIS FILM GETS 3 REAPER SKULLS OUT OF 5